Bowser's Day
by EchoEternal
Summary: A bit down in the dumps on a slow day, Bowser can't quite seem to get invested in anything. Can his son and henchmen offer any support?


Well, since I had a day to work with, I scrambled to make a cute little one-shot. Nope, this isn't related to my ongoing fanfic for Super Mario. Yeah, it's pretty rushed out the door.

But, I figured that today might be a good day for a distraction, or at least have one more thing to help others unwind.

So, this is what I came up with. It's a PG story to have some fun with Mario characters for this Bowser Day. Because why not?

Anyway, if you're still interested, read below! It's pretty short, at least for me, so enjoy reading!

* * *

Deep into the darkest lands of the Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser sat quietly on his throne. He flipped through reports from his soldiers on their training progress, but then tossed them aside. He flipped open files to see new schemes and plots to conquering the greater Mushroom Kingdom, but sighed as he scoured across each of the pages, finding failure results on each one.

Throwing his papers aside, Bowser slumped back into his throne and groaned. He watched as the doors to his throne room burst open, with his son riding his Koopa Clown Car into the room.

"Papa!" Bowser Jr. bounced around inside father's personal craft and excitedly clapped his hands. "I was able to shoot down all of my targets from fireball practice today! Isn't that great?!"

"Yeah."

"Um…Papa?" Bowser Jr. blinked as his father drummed his claws against the throne. "It's…only the second time that I was able to break all of them."

"Oh. Oh!" The elder koopa shook his head and straightened up in his seat, forcing up a wider grin. "That's great, then, Junior! You're really making strong progress!"

"Thanks." The younger Bowser tilted his head, and rocked around in the Clown Car. "Is…everything ok, Papa?"

"What? Of course!" Bowser maintained his grin. "Everything's fine! You're growing stronger, the troops are keeping up with their work, things are running smoothly—"

"And you still haven't taken over the Mushroom Kingdom."

Bowser slumped back down on his seat, as his child rested against the edge of the vehicle. He waited as his father heavily exhaled, tossing his head back.

"Junior, I just want to…I don't know."

"Win?"

"No. Well, yes, but no."

"Uh…usurp control?"

"Same thing—wait, who taught you that word?"

"You probably?"

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Huh." Bowser shook his head. "Regardless, that's the same thing as winning, and it's the same as my goal, so…I've attained none of these things."

"…So…?"

"It sucks."

"Oh." Bowser Jr. tapped on the Clown Car, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Well, we can go try to win and take everything over? Do you wanna go do that today?"

"Not really." Bowser sighed. "Today may not be my best, but I think I should have a bit better of a scheme for kidnapping Princess Peach and defeating Mario than my usual bag of tricks."

"Why not?"

"Because I've tried them all."

"Trap Peach in a cake?"

"Tried it."

"Steal her during a party?"

"Tried it."

"Force Peach to marry you?"

"Tried it."

"Force Mario to marry you?"

"Tried—wait, what?!" Bowser's cheeks flushed as Junior tilted his head. "What's that supposed to accomplish?!"

"He can't fight you if he's married to you, right?"

"Junior, son…no." Bowser cupped his hands over his face. "Ugh…now I've got that mental image to deal with…"

"Sorry, Papa…"

"Lord Bowser! Sire!"

Kamek zipped into the throne room on his broomstick and bumped into the Koopa Clown Car. While Junior giggled as his vehicle swayed slightly, Kamek's broom spun about and fell from the air, crashing on the ground. Bowser removed his hands from his face, only to drag them through his hair.

"If the seven Koopalings come parading through here with the Airship next, I swear, I'll…" He dropped his head before forcing it back up, glaring at his new arrival. "Kamek, what is it?"

The Magikoopa grumbled as he pushed back up from the ground, dusting off his robes and readjusting his cap.

"Couldn't you spare a simple, 'are you ok, Kamek, master of the Magikoopa' or something nice?"

"Are you on fire?"

"No?"

"Do you want to be?"

"No!"

"Then that's me being nice."

"Stars above…" Kamek sighed and tapped on his wand. "The nerve, really."

"Are you in here for something?" Bowser pointed at his son. "Junior at least told me about his great progress on target practice, and I've gotten reports from the rest of the army! What have you got?"

"A spell!"

"…Junior, I've got a new target for you."

"Now, hold on, my lord!" Kamek hurriedly produced a vial from his robes. A purple liquid glistened inside of it. "This here is a special little spell—"

"That's a potion," contested Bowser Jr.

"The spell is within the potion," corrected Kamek.

"That's still a potion, Kamek," chimed in Bowser.

"Ok, fine! It's a potion!" Kamek flipped his cap around. "I suppose we could call my wand a magical totem anchor as well, but that sounds a little more annoying—"

"What does it do?" Bowser's deadpan got a flinch from Kamek, but he adjusted his spectacles.

"Well, that's the thing—it's a luck elixir!"

"…Elixirs are potions," pointed out Bowser Jr.

"My prince, please!" Kamek folded his arms and glowered at the child. "Honestly, if you could just—this potion casts a spell on the user so that they're able to experience the best day of their lives!"

Bowser leaned forward on his throne, his eyes widening. He blinked and focused on the vial, as Kamek brought it back forward.

"If you drink this, sire, you would surely conquer the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"…That lasts for a day, right?"

"Yes!"

"Then it wears off after that, and Mario would likely come defeat me the next day."

"Yes!" Kamek paused and his arms sank. "Which…now makes this a lot less exciting of a concoction than I intended it for. And it…only took…two years to make it…" Slouching himself, Kamek hung his head. "You can go ahead and light me on fire now."

"It might still be cool, Papa." Junior popped up again on the Clown Car. "You could get away with something for a whole day, after all!"

"Like what?" Bowser lowered his eyes and sank back into his throne. "It gets undone the next day over."

"Is it possible for all of the reality around Papa to suddenly warp into his favor and he'll be able to get anything or anyone to bend to his will with that potion?"

"Probably." Kamek's head jerked up as he twisted around to Junior. "Who taught you all of that?"

"You at some point."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Hm. Interesting…"

"This doesn't change anything, really." Bowser spun his finger around in a circle. "So, yay, I get Peach to sign over her kingdom, and then tomorrow she takes it back."

"What about a contract that doesn't allow her to do that?" Kamek rubbed at his chin. "Perhaps that could make it more binding—"

"Then she'll take it back by force like I usually do."

"Huh. Fair point." Kamek tapped at his cheek. "Make her marry you? Divorce might be unbecoming—"

"She's not above marriage annulments, and her subjects don't care that much, we all know this."

"Hm." Kamek shook the vial in front of himself. "Maybe if I work on a love potion instead…?"

"Right, sure, and let's have that get into the wrong hands." Bowser rolled his eyes. "I've got plenty of admirers that aren't magically enchanted to me as it is. I don't need to play around with that."

"Can we not discuss this in front of the young prince?"

"Papa's popularity?"

"Stay innocent forever, my prince."

"But I'm not?"

"Ah, then don't grow up." Kamek scratched behind his head. "Well, you could just use this to have a better day than you're having now, it seems."

"It took you two years to make that, and you want me to waste it by just having a nice day?"

"Sure." Kamek shrugged. "It's not like stardust is uncommon of an ingredient, and I haven't even tested it anyway."

"Then what was the point of all this?"

"To bother you, apparently."

"You do that every day, and without trying!"

"Lord Bowser, do you want to try this, or not?"

"Fine, give it!"

Kamek tossed the vial and Bowser snatched it from the air. He slurped it down and smacked his lips, blinking at the empty vial.

"…Did you make a name for it?" Bowser Jr. blinked at Kamek, who shrugged to him.

"Uh…would 'liquid luck' suffice?"

"That sounds dumb and was probably taken."

"True." Snapping his fingers, the Magikoopa waved his hand across the space before him. "'Luck of the Stars!'"

"Kamek, you suck at this."

"Yes, I'm aware."

"Also, nothing's happening." Bowser shrugged. "I don't feel any different and nothing suddenly feels like it's magically in my favor or whatever."

"Well, it was worth a shot." Kamek flicked his wand. "Back to the experimental boards, I suppose! Good day, your majesties!"

Summoning another broomstick, Kamek hopped onto it, slipped off, and crashed back to the ground. Waving his wand, the broom floated lower, and he grabbed onto it. Slowly, the broomstick drifted away, dragging Kamek off with it, as the royal Koopa watched him depart. Junior turned back around to his father.

"Well, now what?"

"Go clean your room."

"But…yeah, I guess I should." Bowser Jr. shrugged and piloted the Koopa Clown Car from the throne room. "Bye, Papa."

As the Koopa prince exited the throne room, Bowser gawked at the open doorway, and gasped as his hands clamped over his mouth.

"Bless the Stars, it worked!" Bowser giggled and excitedly clapped his hands. "Junior never cleans his room when I first ask him!" He chuckled and lifted his hands, cackling as his beam broadened. "How else should I spend this day? Conquer the kingdoms after all? Take over the entire universe? Unleash a storm of madness and mayhem of which the Mushroom Kingdom has yet to bear witness from me?!"

About two minutes later, Bowser stopped by his kitchen and shifted through the cupboards and fridge, pulling out plates of food. He bounced around and dropped the plates on the counter, and grinned.

"We never have this many drumsticks in stock! And we got tonics to go with them!"

"Uh…Lord…Bowser?"

A Goomba waited in the doorway, glancing up at Bowser as he grabbed a drumstick. He spun around and frowned at the Goomba.

"You need a good reason to be disturbing my delicious treat."

"Um. The, uh, the Koopatrol wanted to report progress on scouting Mario and his friends. They've decided to practice getting ready for exploits to kidnap the Princess and defeat Mario."

"Why?" Bowser dropped his drumstick on the plate and folded his arms. "I have absolutely no plans to deal with them today."

"They're actually en route to the castle."

"What?!" Bowser slammed his fist on the counter. "What for?!"

"Not, uh, not sure."

"This is horrible news! Mario and his friends never come here unless they're taking something back, so why…?"

"Shall I get the Koopalings to intercept them?"

"Wait, they're here this week?"

"…Yes?"

"Oh, great." Bowser shrugged. "Do that then. I'll…I'll…hmm." Bowser poked at his head. "I should come up with some means of dealing with them."

"Sir?"

"Maybe I can use the Airship! That sounds like a doable idea."

Hurrying from the kitchen, Bowser bumped past the Goomba, and charged through the hallways of his castle. He skidded around a corner, and hurried down to the lower levels. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he glanced at an open door and peeked in at a Rex that picked at a statue of the Koopa King himself.

"Uh…what are you doing?"

"Wargh!" The Rex spun around, and gawked at his king. "Lord…Lord Bowser…?"

"…Why did you define my muscles more than usual?"

Both waited in silence as the Rex slowly dragged a cloth and tossed it over the statue, failing to cover it up very well. Bowser raised an eyebrow and slowly backed out of the room.

Making his way across a bridge set over his lava moat, Bowser entered the hangar for his Airship. As he entered however, a Koopa Troopa hurried jumped from the ship and started shoving him out.

"Your highness, you can't be here yet!"

"What? Why?" Bowser stomped down, and the Koopa bounced off from him. "Mario and his friends are coming, so I need to stop them."

"Oh, but that's…they're not…" The Koopa scratched his head. "Uh…I heard a report that claimed they were already near the border."

"Wait, they're that close already?!"

"They might be here any moment, milord."

"Then I definitely need to get to the Airship!"

"No, sire!" The Koopa glanced back and shuddered. "Um…you need, to um, get to the outside! By the door! And stop them before they enter!"

"That's what soldiers are for!"

"They, uh, already defeated us, because we need you."

"Bah, seriously?!" Bowser stormed off. "Of all the incompetent, tactless, and outright incapable…!"

The Koopa waved as his king hurried off, and scrambled back toward the Airship. Bowser quickly ascended the stairwell back to the higher levels of his castle. He growled as he slowed in a corridor, and threw his hands out.

"Where is everyone?! I shouldn't be the only one running off like this!"

Rushing to his front doors, Bowser kicked them open. He growled at the sight of Mario and his group of friends approaching.

"What gives?!" Bowser stomped down as Mario and Peach approached ahead of the others. "What are you doing here if you're not rescuing Peach?!"

"First of all, hi, and good day," deadpanned Mario.

"Secondly, we were invited," insisted Peach.

"Wait, huh?" Bowser scratched his head. "Invited…?" Bowser snapped his fingers. "My lucky day! Peach, are you finally here to make yourself and your kingdom mine?"

"What? Ew, no." Peach folded her arms. "Great, now I'm just disturbed."

"Can we go home?" Luigi hugged Toad and Toadette tightly to him. "This is horrifying and it's clear he doesn't want us here."

"Wait, I don't get it." Bowser scratched his head. "Why are you all here if you're not attacking me?" He tilted his head as he glanced to Yoshi. "The bowtie is cute, by the way." Yoshi grinned and bounced as he waved to Bowser. "Seriously, what's going on?"

"Your son wanted us here," revealed Mario. "He told us that it was important that we come and we brought—"

"Don't tell him!"

"Ah…we brought us!" Mario smirked as Bowser glared at him. "…Look, can we just come in? This is supposed to be a surprise."

"What, like a party for me?"

"Papa!" Bowser Jr. soared from above and over to his father. "You ruined it!"

"Ruined what?"

"My surprise party…" Junior sank into the Koopa Clown Car. "It was going to be a special party to celebrate you."

"What? Junior, what for?" Bowser shrugged. "It's not even my birthday."

"Well, you seemed down, so I wanted to invite a bunch of people over to just give you a great day to enjoy." Junior bounced up from below the vehicle. "That's why I had Kamek come in and distract you."

"…Should've known that lucky elixir story was a load of crap."

"Lucky what now?"

"Mario, hush, I'm talking with my son." Bowser folded his arms and raised his eyebrow. "Junior, did you really plan a whole day just for me to enjoy?"

"Yeah."

"Aw…that's sweet, kid." He tugged his Clown Car over and hugged his son. "That's my boy, knowing just how to cheer his old dad up."

"Wait, then why are we here?" Luigi dropped both Toad and Toadette to the ground, as both glared up at him. "Wouldn't it be better if Bowser's enemies weren't invited to his big party?"

"If anyone tells me that the others were invited so I'd come, I'm leaving," determines Peach.

"I thought Papa would like everyone here," revealed Bowser Jr. "Even you guys."

"He hates us," reiterated Luigi.

"Well, I like him," admitted Mario. "I think anyone can be a friend if you try hard enough."

"Bwahaha, what?" Bowser rolled his eyes. "That's ridiculous." He put his arm around Mario, pulling him inside. "But you know what? My son went through enough trouble to get you here, so you might as well come in." He patted Mario's head as he guided him along. "I _guess_ we can get along _once_ in a while."

"You're horrible at acting."

"Takes one to know one."

They both laughed as the others gawked from outside, save for Junior, who followed the pair inside. Yoshi's stomach growled, and he raced after them, with Toad and Toadette hurrying after him. Peach and Luigi shrugged to one another, and followed the others.

Below the castle and in the hangar, Bowser's troops cheered as everyone entered the Airship, and the party lasted long into the night.

* * *

Yay, a Bowser Day story! It's my first one that I managed to come up with. Perhaps I'll do better updates in the future for this little holiday of sorts.

But hey, it's something, and kind of seems cute that Junior would come up with the idea, rather than, uh, people from the Internet. (I definitely wouldn't be a good source for the day; I didn't really pay attention to its existence, lmao.)

Anyway, thank you for reading! Hope it made your day a little more entertaining!


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